Happy 35th Birthday, Mom!

But you don't look a day over 34.
Love,
#1 Son

'Twas the night before Christmas...

...and all through the land,
Not a creature was stirring,
Except for poor Dad.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
as Dad wrapped the last present with mere minutes to spare.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of diagrams danced in Dad's head.

And Mama in her jammies, not wearing a cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When downstairs in the garage there arose such a clatter,
she sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

"Sorry," said Dad, as he picked up his tools,
"I should have paid more attention in school.
I didn't know I'd need an engineering degree,
To assemble a bike for a child, age three."

His eyes -- how they drooped! His countenance how wan!
Muscles drawn taut, trying to force a piece on.
His grim little mouth was drawn up in a grimace,
As he said, "Hand me my shears; I'm just going to trim this."

Mama smiled and said, "Can I help you at all?"
Dad replied, "No dear, I've just hit a wall.
I'll be done in no time, don't worry your head."
Mama said, "Okay, honey," then went back to bed.

A monkey wrench he held tight in his teeth,
And the bicycle's chain 'round his head like a wreath
He had a dour face and a little round belly,
From eating too much of the cranberry jelly.

Not to mention the cookies left out for St. Nick,
Dad polished those off, and he did it right quick.
"After all," explained Dad to the toys he was wrapping,
"I'm gonna need fuel to keep me from napping."

"After I finish this bike, you see,
It will already be seven minutes to three.
And while the children continue to snore,
I've got to make sure that this dino will roar."

Then he laughed and got back to his fatherly duties,
Assembling and wrapping and dropping tools on his footies.
And when the last present was under the tree,
He admired his handiwork, then dropped to his knees.

He gave thanks to Jesus for making him "Dad."
For his wife and his children and all that he had.
Then he finally crept into bed, only to hear,
"Wake up, Dad! It's Christmas! Santa was here!"

-Nathan Beach, December 26th, 2008
Merry Christmas!

Things That Make Me Happy, Part Deux

Every year, on Thanksgiving Day, I begin rereading "The Lord of the Rings." (Yes, I know that it should be underlined and not put in quotes, since it is a book, but I apparently do not have that option here.) It is my favorite book and since the movies were released in three consecutive Decembers, this time of year always makes me think of Tolkien. So, in 2003 I decided that I would reread the books annually, starting on Thanksgiving Day. It seemed like a good day to start, partially because it is easy to remember and partially because always starting on the same day appeals to my minor (undiagnosed) case of OCD. (and probably Tourette's) At any rate, reading "The Lord of the Rings" always makes me happy. I especially love being reminded of little parts that I had forgotten about. For example, early in "The Fellowship of the Ring," Pippin sings a song while in the bath. It goes like this:

Sing hey! for the bath at close of day

that washes the weary mud away!

A loon is he that will not sing:

O! Water Hot is a noble thing!

O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain,

and the brook that leaps from hill to plain;

but better than rain or rippling streams

is Water Hot that smokes and steams

O! Water cold we may pour at need

down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed;

but better is Beer, if drink we lack,

and Water Hot poured down the back.

O! Water is fair that leaps on high

in a fountain white beneath the sky;

but never did fountains sound so sweet

as splashing Hot Water with my feet!

I had forgotten that last year I decided that I was going to sing this to Xander every day at bath time. Of course, I tried a couple of times but never quite memorized it, so I stopped singing it. Maybe I'll try again this year...except for the Beer part. I'll say "apple juice" instead. Apple juice makes Xan happy.

Being a teacher means having no shame...

November 26, 2008 shall henceforth be known as "Scottish Teaching Day." Our school is divided into "continents," with each continent consisting of 7 or 8 homerooms. My homeroom is part of Africa. For this year's canned food drive, rather than being a competition between homerooms, it was turned into a competition between continents. I told my homeroom that if Africa won, I would teach them wearing a skirt. Africa had not won any of the various competitions throughout the year so far, so I felt that I was safe. Well, one of the OTHER homerooms in Africa ended up with 800 cans of food for the week, trouncing every other class. Therefore, Africa won the whole darn thing. Meaning I had to teach in a skirt. Luckily (this was also the reason I said I would teach in a skirt in the first place), I own a kilt. So Wednesday, November 26th became "Scottish Teaching Day." I either raised or lowered my cool factor on that day. I think...both.

Scottish Teaching Day

I'm in withdrawal

Last Saturday, for the first time in a long time, we had some free time in the middle of the day with no plans. Anna was working out, the kids were napping/playing, and I was sitting on the couch reading a book. All of a sudden, I got a major craving. Not for food. Not for a beverage. For Baseball. I realized that what I wanted most, right then, was to have the Giants game on while I read. I didn't even need to watch the game. I just wanted the dulcet tones of Messrs. Miller, Krukow, and Kuiper in the background as I read. But I couldn't, 'cause baseball (as always) has cruelly disappeared until mid-February. I miss baseball. Sigh.

Happy 30th Birthday, Baby Sister!

Happy Birthday, Mary! Welcome to your Thirties. The Thirties are way better than the Twenties. Except in history. The 20's were pretty cool and the 30's were marked by the Great Depression (which started in '29, but who's counting?) Anyway...Happy Birthday!

Jesus is not a Wheat Thin

We were at church last night and our worship pastor Mark Averill was explaining what communion is and what it means. Then he said that the band was going to play a few songs and whenever each person was ready, he or she could get up and walk to one of the tables and get a cup of juice and a wheat thin. Then he stopped himself, laughed, and said, "By the way, Jesus is not a Wheat Thin. It is supposed to represent his body that was broken for you." Everyone laughed and then the band began playing.

Now, I know that Mark was just making a joke, but it got me thinking: You know what? Jesus really is NOT a Wheat Thin. I think that we Christians can too easily fall into the trap of trying to place Jesus into a box or trying to categorize him in some way. It's easy to say "Jesus is Lord," or "Jesus is Savior," or "Jesus is the Son of God" without really thinking about what those words actually mean. I know that I have been guilty (far too often) of taking Jesus for granted. Maybe it is because he is too big to wrap my mind around or maybe it is because I can't actually see him, but I continually lose sight of the fact that Jesus really is my Lord and my Savior and The Son of God. Frankly, sometimes I let myself forget that Jesus IS. Whever this happens, I like to go outside at night and look up at the stars and just take in the universe that HE created. It reminds me how small I really am. It reminds me that Jesus is not a Wheat Thin.

Things That Make Me Happy, Part 1

Every year, around the middle of November, a sense of anticipation fills the air. Not for Thanksgiving, not for Christmas, not for Christmas break. For a few of us, (and maybe you are one), we begin to anticipate the sweet joy that is Peppermint Mocha Coffeemate. It begins to appear in stores just as the holiday season approaches only to disappear in early January, leaving us bereft of its perfect blend of creamy chocolate and cool mint for another 10 1/2 months. But for that brief period during which it becomes part of our daily lives, every sip is bliss. Last year, our local Safeway hid the seasonal Coffemates in the holiday dairy section (which I did not know existed) near the various egg nogs. Because of their trickery, I could not find my Peppermint Mocha Coffeemate until the 2nd week of December. This year, however, being aware of the previous year's ruse, I was able to find what I wanted as soon as it appeared on shelves. So, I will continue to have perfect cups of coffee through the holidays and I will make sure to buy the biggest bottle of my Coffeemate right before they go away again. Then perhaps I can prolong the joy until the end of January. I highly recommend that you do the same. Just stay away from MY Safeway. The Caramel Apple Coffeemate isn't bad either.

More confirmation...

...that I am a great father. This is the book that I read (parts of) to Xander before bed tonight. We read all about Manifest Destiny and Westward Expansion, The Missouri Compromise, the election of 1860...it was awesome! Xander was riveted. That's my boy!

(By the way, this is a 5th grade textbook)

Let the wild rumpus start!

Coming to theaters in October 2009...I'm so excited...

There are even cooler pictures here. Just scroll to the bottom, past the interview.

I love my students

Yesterday, I gave my Islam test. (Yes! I'm done with Islam for a year!) One of the questions on the test was the following: "How was much of the ancient Greek and Roman learning preserved by the Islamic Empires?" The answer I was looking for was: "Muslim scholars translated the classics into Arabic. They were translated back during the Renaissance." Here are some of the awesome answers that I got from my students on their tests:
"A lot"
"Not much"
"It wasn't"
"15,000"
"They believed in it"
"They got attacked"
"They preserved it"
1st runner-up: "When the volcano erupted, the city was put into a cocoon."
And my personal favorite: "1882"

By the way, most of my students did very well on the test. Perhaps I need to reword this particular question for next year...

Presidential Fun Facts

As a history teacher (and generally trivia geek), it is my duty to make sure that everyone that I know has lots of useless information floating around in their heads. Well, while recently watching the HBO mini-series "John Adams" with my wife, I was reminded of one of the cooler (and spookier) Presidential fun facts of all-time: John Adams (our 2nd President) and Thomas Jefferson (our 3rd President) died on the same day. That's weird enough, but it gets better. They both died on July 4th, 1826. Which just happened to be the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Which Thomas Jefferson wrote. With help from John Adams. Five years later, on July 4th, 1831, James Monroe (our 5th President) died. Spooky. There, now you are a little more geeky. You're welcome.

Things change...

You ever have one of those moments when you realize that your life has completely changed in some way, but it happened so gradually that you didn't even notice it happening at the time? I keep finding new ways that being a husband and father has changed me. For example, one time when my nephew Andrew Monkey was a baby, he was asleep in my sister's arms while we all watched an A's game. Carlos Pena hit a walk-off home run and I exploded (not literally, that would have been gross) with a relatively deafening yell of joy. Now you need to understand something: My yells of joy at sporting events are somewhat legendary. I think my jubilant scream at Mark McGwire's walk-off grand slam in early 1995 is still echoing through deep space. Anyways, my yell of course woke up Andrew and made my sister quite mad.

Fast forward to January of 2007. I'm sitting on my couch, watching the Warriors play the New Jersey Nets. My wife is asleep (also on the couch), and all of the children were asleep in their various beds. The Warriors are down by two with about 5 seconds left in the game. Baron Davis rebounds a missed Net's shot, dribbles to half-court, and passes to Monta Ellis, who strokes a game-winning three-pointer as time expires. Now, the old me might have woken everybody else in the house up. (By the way, since I had Tivo'd the game, I was watching this at about 11:30 at night.) However, the new me (who had instictively leapt off of the couch and landed about three feet from the television) instead just silently pumped his fist in the air and mouthed, not yelled, "Whooooo! Hoooo! YES!!!!!" Totally full of adrenaline. Totally pumped up. Totally silent. Life is weird.

One of the proudest moments of my life...

...came a couple of days ago. I was trying to get Bella to say "Let's Go, Oakland!" and clap her hands, as I have taught her to do in the past. Just as I was switching to "Go, Giants!", I heard Xander say to her, "Say Go Packers, Bella! Go, Packers!" I love that boy. It's nice to have confirmation that you are raising your kids right.

Freedom is not free

Since it is Veteran's Day, I thought that I would share a poem that you may or may not have read before. I have this on the wall in my classroom, right by the door. I have seen many students read this poem while waiting for the bell to ring.

FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

I watched the flag pass by one day.

It fluttered in the breeze.

A young Marine saluted it,

and then he stood at ease.

I looked at him in uniform,

So young, so tall, so proud.

With hair cut square and eyes alert,

He'd stand out in any crowd.

I thought, how many men like him

Had fallen through the years?

How many died on foreign soil?

How many mothers' tears?

How many Pilots' planes shot down?

How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?

No, Freedom is not free.

I heard the sound of taps one night,

When everything was still.

I listened to the bugler play

And felt a sudden chill.

I wondered just how many times

That taps had meant "Amen"

When a flag had draped a coffin

of a brother or a friend.

I thought of all the children,

Of the mothers and the wives,

Of fathers, sons and husbands

With interrupted lives.

I thought about a graveyard

at the bottom of the sea

Of unmarked graves in Arlington.

No, Freedom isn't free!!

Copyright 1981 by Kelly Strong

Thanks, vets.

The Best Things in Life are "B"

Baseball, The Bible, The Beach Family, Babies, Bella, Brett Favre, Beer...ever notice how the best things in life start with the letter "B"? You can even adjust things to make sure that they start with "B." For example: Beautiful Wife, Big Bowls of Chicken Tortilla Soup, Best football team ever-The Packers, etc. Joe and I used to sit at Giants games (View Reserved, Section 305, Row 7, Seats 13-14) and see what else we could come up with. Bagels, Brats, Barry Bonds (it was a more innocent time), Big pints of Guinness, Big saves by Evgeni Nabakov, Brunettes, etc. Anyways, it was fun. Give it a try. Beans of jelly, Boston Baked Beans, Blustery days...

O.K., I give up...

I've spent at least a couple of years making fun of my relatives and friends for their blogs, I think in part because blogs are inherently egotistical. "Hey, check out how witty and interesting I am!" However, I am changing my tune because, hey, it looks like fun. It is also an easy way to share pictures. Plus, I'm pretty witty and interesting. So, I give up. Check out my blog!